The Four States of Stagnation:
Aversion, Constriction, Denial, and the 'uncomfortable' Comfort Zone
Aversion, Constriction, Denial, and the 'uncomfortable' Comfort Zone
Is this you?
Think about it.
Sooo many people are uncomfortable with the art of public speaking, yet rarely do they learn how to face the music.
You could say, so common with many fear conditions, that the sufferers choose to remain in a state of denial. Only concerned about managing their fear when a speech is looming or is imminent.
Until their next speech.
You could say, so common with many fear conditions, that the sufferers choose to remain in a state of denial. Only concerned about managing their fear when a speech is looming or is imminent.
Speaking comfortably in a cool, calm, collected state, on the other hand, so is incredibly important.
It might be that a speech clinches you that dream job or the promotion you always wanted. It might be a speech that helps influence your family, your community...the world!
For some people a speech can literally mean the difference between life and death.
According to Glenn Croston ph.D in his article dated 29th November 2012 in Psychology Today, speaking anxiety is 'the thing we fear more than death', but few people consider doing anything about it.
Until their next speech.
It might be that a speech clinches you that dream job or the promotion you always wanted. It might be a speech that helps influence your family, your community...the world!
For some people a speech can literally mean the difference between life and death.
According to Glenn Croston ph.D in his article dated 29th November 2012 in Psychology Today, speaking anxiety is 'the thing we fear more than death', but few people consider doing anything about it.
Until their next speech.
So few people take action.
Is it fear or laziness that sees some people choose to sit it out and let their state become a lifelong attachment that only gets worse over time?
Unwittingly these are the people who have allowed it to control their emotions and their careers, their personal life and success, because they specifically chose not move on, but rather remain in one or all of The Four States of Stagnation, that form the rather convenient mnemonic of A.C.D.C.
Unwittingly these are the people who have allowed it to control their emotions and their careers, their personal life and success, because they specifically chose not move on, but rather remain in one or all of The Four States of Stagnation, that form the rather convenient mnemonic of A.C.D.C.
#1 Aversion
This is the flight mode of the Fight or Flight Syndrome where mind's natural tendency is move to away from discomfort and danger to protect itself. We kid ourselves that it is waaay easier to to divert, distract, and avoid.
Until the next speech.
Until the next speech.
#2 Comfort Zone
This is a peculiar flight mode as well. Except we are not flying. Instead we live in hope that the thing we don't want (the perceived danger!) will magically fly away, totally of it's own accord. Trapped in a delusion of our 'uncomfortable' comfort zone, this is our choice.
In fact this place is deceptively uncomfortable and dangerous, for the longer we choose to stay in it, the bigger and more threatening the thing we are trying to avoid gets.We stay put. Comfort seems great, temporarily.
Until the next speech.
In fact this place is deceptively uncomfortable and dangerous, for the longer we choose to stay in it, the bigger and more threatening the thing we are trying to avoid gets.We stay put. Comfort seems great, temporarily.
Until the next speech.
#3 Denial
This is when we refuse to believe that anything is wrong. We are in denial of our emotional states, we refute the problem, denying it ever existed, and refuse to deal with it or take action. Ignorance creates a detachment illusion where we might find ourselves saying, 'Everything's fine.'
Until the next speech.
Until the next speech.
#4 Constriction
Similar in nature to the emotional state of discomfort, this is less of an environmental factor and more of an internal emotional one which sits outside any fight or flight.
This is a Freeze response when our emotions, muscles and thoughts begin to contract, constrict. Literally we are frozen stiff like a Deer (U.S) or a Rabbit (U.K.) in the headlights, stuck in a state of inaction.
So, in summary, for all those who have seen the Disney children's movie that all young girls under the age of seven sing aloud to: 'Let it go...' Don't hold on to it anymore.
Furthermore, the state you need instead, way more than the one you have that is leaving you averting, constricting, denying and frozen, in eye of your uncomfortable comfort zone, is one of complete acceptance, serenity and peace, an expansiveness, full of warmth, in which you have a strong desire to reach out to any audience.
But if we don't have the bravery or the tools to create a positive change then, inevitably, we stay trapped in our stuckness searching for tools to access those states of deep comfort.
This is a Freeze response when our emotions, muscles and thoughts begin to contract, constrict. Literally we are frozen stiff like a Deer (U.S) or a Rabbit (U.K.) in the headlights, stuck in a state of inaction.
***
So, in summary, for all those who have seen the Disney children's movie that all young girls under the age of seven sing aloud to: 'Let it go...' Don't hold on to it anymore.
Furthermore, the state you need instead, way more than the one you have that is leaving you averting, constricting, denying and frozen, in eye of your uncomfortable comfort zone, is one of complete acceptance, serenity and peace, an expansiveness, full of warmth, in which you have a strong desire to reach out to any audience.
But if we don't have the bravery or the tools to create a positive change then, inevitably, we stay trapped in our stuckness searching for tools to access those states of deep comfort.
Seriously, most advice out there reads more like an academic report that reinforces everything that you already know is wrong with you but have no idea how to go about changing.
Usually this comes from a Doctor on a deadline or a research paper, blog, or article, presented from a highly psychological viewpoint that tells rather than shows how to deal with speaking fear, thus it never lends you any tools for healthy self-improvement.
Usually this comes from a Doctor on a deadline or a research paper, blog, or article, presented from a highly psychological viewpoint that tells rather than shows how to deal with speaking fear, thus it never lends you any tools for healthy self-improvement.
I can help put your problem to bed once and for all.
Seriously.
Alternatively, if you genuinely want to move on but are struggling to get your butt off the fence, then I'd be happy to link up for a 'no obs' chat: Free One Hour Consultation.
Maybe you're life will transform. Maybe it won't. Maybe you're too gone already.
References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-real-story-risk/201211/the-thing-we-fear-more-death Glenn Croston ph.D. nov 29th 2012. Acccessed: 08/09/2015
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-real-story-risk/201211/the-thing-we-fear-more-death Glenn Croston ph.D. nov 29th 2012. Acccessed: 08/09/2015
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