What's your Intention?
Here is my small gift to
you, an insight into how the use of intentions is integral to almost everything
in NLP.
For instance, there are
around 15 presuppositions or operating beliefs of NLP which are a list of
principles for best practice which state such things as, 'Each Individual Lives
in their Own Unique Model of the World.'
One of the most
controversial and powerful presuppositions is, 'Behind Every Behaviour is a
Positive Intention.'
This confuses many NLP
newbies and I have hear comments such as 'well, how do you find a positive
intention in something as horrific as child abuse?' Good question. One thing
you must understand though is: the behaviour is not the intention.
In fact, the person is not
the behaviour they are presenting and in some case we might discover a Father
who beats his son and says hypocritically, 'I only want you to do well, son,'
or the jealous lover seeking sweet revenge, totally out of character, because
the intention they seek is love.
We use intentions in such
NLP techniques (patterns) as Parts Integration where we separate two visual
representations on each hand of two conflicting parts of self; one a part of
you that wants 'this' and the other part that sabotages your positive intention
and wants to do 'that.'
As we continue to chunk up
and ask 'what's the intention or positive intention' of that (behaviour) we
arrive eventually arrive at place where the common intention of both parts is
the same.
It's as if both parts were
unconsciously seeking the same intention on a much higher level, whether this
was deep peace, love, freedom, whatever, this is the stage when the hands
representing the parts begin to unconsciously move together and release the
resistance.
Another NLP pattern the N
step Reframe uses intentions to explore the positive underlying meaning of an
unwanted behaviour. One of the ways we do this after noting the behaviour is to
ask the unconscious to generate 'a minimum
of three new behaviours to satisfy the positive intention.'
Let me highlight how we can
misread intentions with a humorous example:
The other day I was walking
along Newcastle's High Level Bridge when a man wearing tight lycra cycle shorts and
a fluorescent top sped past me on a racing bike ironically puffing (as if his
life depended on it) on a kingsize cigarette.
In the heat of the moment, I
performed what is known in NLP as a negative Mind Read saying, 'what an idiot,'
observing his paradox of fitness and fags. Then I remembered positive intentions. He was
riding extremely fast. Headed in the direction of Newcastle Job Centre.
I thought: 'what if his
intention was to get to the Job Centre as fast as humanly possible?
If it was, then with the
careful streamlining of his lycra and the effects of increased heart rate from
the nicotine, given his enthusiasm, he could well have broken all land speed
records!
After all, that is his choice, isn't it?
After all, that is his choice, isn't it?
So the lesson here is that
'the behaviour we see may not always be' the underlying or positive intention.
